Nov 2, 2023

GET READY TO D.I.E.!

Sometimes, life just isn’t fair. What can you do about it? Well, now you can MAKE life fair, thanks to new standards and goals rolling out all around the world! Because nothing, including your life, is more important than Diversity, Inclusion and Equality...

FLIGHT OF THE UNQUALIFIED

For those elitist snobs who think piloting a commercial jet aircraft makes them part of an exclusive group...think again! American, Southwest, United Airlines and others look to liberate the skies, competing to lead the industry in playing equity games with their paying passengers’ lives!

A spate of recent runway incursions and near-miss incidents have eyes on the skies. For example, a close call between FedEx and Southwest Airlines planes at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport in Texas in February forced an FAA safety summit.

Southwest’s Vice President of Diversity, Equity & Inclusion, Juan Suarez, had previously sent an internal memo announcing that D.I.E. policies were the guiding force behind the airline’s mission, and not, God forbid, safe travel.

Thanks to these progressive policies, the cockpit is no longer the exclusive domain of the privileged and “well-trained”. Now, anyone who has ever dared to dream of flying an airplane is entitled to make his/her/zir dreams come true. It’s actually easier than one might think, and much like your favorite Playstation title: once you get going and start pushing buttons, things start to make sense.

Now while this all sounds great, it threatens to create an on-board atmosphere where pilots’ skills and conduct can never be questioned, poor performance is tolerated, and sissy-slap cockpit fights must be allowed to play out. Without reform, your favorite fake news outlet may soon be running these damage control headlines: “Nobody said air travel was safe!”

Art by Daryll Collins from Flip City Vol. 17

It's Flip City Magazine's first special edition collection: THE PARODIES, with our timely take-offs and savage send-ups of Lord of the Rings; Stranger Things; Spider-Man; Star Trek: Picard; Hunters; The Mandalorian and much more, with some of the best Flip City artists.

Get this 76-page full-color digital exclusive when you subscribe to Flip City in print, delivered!

CLICK HERE: FLIP CITY: THE PARODIES